May 01, 2005
Ten Hours of Application Form-Filling
The response to our little announcement earlier this week has been overwhelming. It seems my readership has quadrupled overnight thanks to the family grapevine. Thanks to everyone for the well-wishes.
Kari and I went to a basic informational meeting hosted by our chosen adoption agency. Meeting is probably the wrong word, though. Our host had a Powerpoint slide presentation all queued up, when the main attraction arrived just as she was about to start. It was a couple who had adopted a Chinese girl in October and had brought their now 18-month old daughter along. They warned us that the application process was nothing short of arduous, but that every single minute was worth it, a point that hardly needed to be made as their little girl toddled around the room, walking up to each person with a grin on her face before turning and running back to her mother with a squeal of glee.
So the next day, our first application packet arrived in the mail and we got to see exactly what she was talking about. A basic questionnaire and various disclaimers (most requiring notarization) were accompanied by a checklist of other things we needed to begin gathering, such as valid passports, fingerprints, birth certificates, photographs, and cetera. Motivated by the sight of the little girl we met, Kari dove right in, putting in ten hours of time filling out paperwork between Friday and Saturday.
Oh, so the photographs we need to send are going to the Chinese government to help them choose a daughter for us. We have been advised that for cultural reasons, they don't like to see pets in the pictures. Unfortunately, almost every picture we have has a dog or a cat in it somewhere. If anyone out there has some nice, recent pictures of Kari and I that they would be willing to share, please drop me a line. Thanks!
UPDATE: Make sure you check out Kari's comments for her perspective on all this!
Just a *little* embellishment of Ken's blog for today: the little girl who came to the meeting was adopted by a retired cop and his wife. He told the fathers-to-be in the room that the mothers will cry through the whole process in anticipation of their baby . . . but there are two moments he guaranteed the fathers would cry: 1) when they hand you your baby girl; and 2) when the Chinese officials ask the father if he will accept this child as his very own, and if he will give her the best life he can possibly give her. OK. With that, I had to wipe my eyes!! What if I can't even get the words out when I'm in front of the Chinese officials because I'm blubbering like an idiot!!?? The mother said the hardest thing for her: when the baby's orphanage care-giver gave the baby to her, the care-giver was crying. OK. With that, I went from wiping my eyes to being outright weepy!! Interesting tid-bits? Their daughter was fed by a bottle and was swaddled in the orphanage, so at 11 months old she couldn't even hold her arms up, hold a bottle, feed herself, or hold her head up. They had to work on her fine motor skills, etc. (She was running around like a maniac Thursday night, so I'm not worried!!) The orphaned babies there are also not picked up and carried, so they have no clue to hang on when you pick them up. True!! When they carried her around, it was like balancing a sack of potatoes! OK. So I dove into the paperwork on Friday night as soon as I could. (3 hours) So far, so good: Ken, the question is "Why do we want to adopt?" "What kind of parents do we think we'll be?" "How would you describe our relationship?" "Why do you think we're ready to adopt?" We thought we got through that ok. Then came the official paperwork. Saturday (7 hours) Birth certificates and other horrendous paperwork. I had to research how to obtain 2 birth certficates from the Pennsylvania Vital Something or Other; once those come back, I have to send them to the Pennsylvania Department of State who will "exemplify" them (vouche to the Chinese government that they're official). OK. I can handle that. Marriage Certificates: have to obtain 2 ceritied copies from Brighton Town Clerk here in Rochester. I then have to run them to the Monroe County Clerk to "verify" that the certification is official. I then have to send the verified certified copies to the NYS Secretary of State to exemplify the verified certified copies. The exemplified verified certified copies then go to the Chinese government. OK. Now I'm getting agitated. But I can handle it. Take a deep breath. Now my birth certificate. I was born in NYC in the Borough of Queens--which has different rules than the rest of New York State. Of course!! Why be consistent? I have to obtain 2 birth certificates from the NYC Health Department certified together with Letters of Exemplification. Then I have to run (run? Matt and Stacey--we may be coming down soon for a visit!!!) to the County Clerk in the County where the birth certificates are issued. The County Clerk will verify the certified birth certificates and Letters of Exemplification. I then have to mail the birth certificates and letters of Exemplification to the NYS Department of State who will exemplify the verified certified birth certificates and Letters of Exemplification. You guessed it: the exemplified verified certified birth certificates and Letters of Exemplification go to the Chinese government. Now I am truly annoyed.
All of this, and for what? You get tons of ribbons and seals all over your documents and apparently they are then official. OK. I'm remembering: there's a little girl waiting for us at the end of all of this!!!
Oh, and we also have to be fingerprinted by NYS Police to do a background check for child abuse; we have to be fingerprinted by the FBI in Buffalo (because we are adopting an orphan); and as Ken said, we had to sign and get notarized a whole bunch of stuff.
Sunday--2 more hours--bringing the total count to 12. We also have to take an online course for American parents that teaches us about things from the child's perspective; also about what to expect from here on out: people approaching us out of the blue to ask us if we adopted her, stares, looks, etc.
Ok, so now I'm ready for the fun part again!! Anyone, if you have pictures of me and Ken that you believe show what we are all about--that's what the Chinese Government wants to see: us with our family, holidays, vacations, hobbies, etc. The pictures are what tells them who we are so they can pick our daughter for us. What pressure!! So we are trying to consider carefully--what pictures would help them pick a little girl who's perfect for us?!
Unfortunately, a large part of what we're about is our pets; but Chinese culture does not value that and so we have to leave that part of the family out. Your help is appreciated!!!!!!
I can probably dig up a picture of Ken working hard at the Chicken Inferno. Do you think a 15 foot tall chicken sets the right tone? After all, this is the year of the rooster!
Posted by: Mike at May 2, 2005 09:35 AMHehe. Except that by the time we actually get there, it will be the Year of the Dog. So you'd think that all of our existing pictures would be fine, eh?
I have contacted Micheal Cady (who did our pictures at christmas) I asked him to send you a few pictures of you two and a family shot. I hope that helps. As for selecting the perfect baby for you guys, have no worries, God won't screw this one up!!! Love to you both and you are welcome at any moment no notice required!
Posted by: Stacey Smoker at May 2, 2005 06:55 PMCongrats on your decision to adopt! I'm looking forward to watching your family's story unfold.
Posted by: Linda at May 4, 2005 09:33 AMBen-Lag
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