smokerblog

How to Humanely Dispatch a Lobster

The most recent David Foster Wallace sighting is in this month's issue of Gourmet. "Consider the Lobster," is his reporter-in-the-field-type account of last year's Maine Lobster Festival, an annual celebration of America's favorite crustacean delicacy, being held this weekend in Rockland, Maine. Now, I just picked up a copy of the magazine tonight so I haven't read it yet, but from all accounts, it is a literary success. The subject matter, on the other hand, may be more than some lobster lovers can stomach.

Apparently, Wallace spends the better part of the article contemplating, in his inimitable self-consciously twitchy way, the animal cruelty implications of boiling live lobsters. I have no frame of reference, having never "prepared" lobster myself, but Kari tells me stories of she and her brother as children playing with live lobsters on her next-door neighbor's kitchen floor just prior to the steamy execution.

This has reminded me of a recent "Good Eats" episode where the host, Alton Brown, displays a crudely drawn chart of the animal kingdom with "lobster" listed next to "cockroach" and then spends the rest of the episode referring to his lobster as "the bug." Point being, if you don't have a crisis of conscience stepping on spiders or swatting flies, then you shouldn't worry about cooking and eating a lobster.

So but still, just because you plan to eat his juicy flesh doesn't mean you can't do the poor creature a favor and ease his passing. The preferred technique involves placing the lobster in the freezer for a short time (just long enough to dull his senses) and then with a sharp knife, bisect his neural system in one clean stroke. That "Good Eats" episode had a lot of other interesting lobster cooking tips; here's the transcript for those who are interested.

Bon appétit!